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I have a personal list of "Save Me Tactics".

I have a personal list of "Save Me Tactics". This is a list of statements I can recall by rote and 100% believe in, even when my mind is not working. I have heard them called "posts, I can hold onto in rough seas". They came about because after my 2nd failed suicide attempt, I decided I was lousy at suicide. When I am lousy at something, I believe there must be some other way. So if I am lousy at killing myself, then I better get good at staying alive.

The 2 most often mentioned reasons for NOT killing oneself are a connection to family (significant other, children) and/or a spiritual connection with a higher power (God). I threw my energies into connecting with my dear long suffering husband. As I wasn't actually on speaking terms with my God, coming up with a spiritual connection was more difficult for me. Yet, after many days of thought, I was able to come up with a simple prayer, that I could believe in - no matter what. The following are my last ditch "Save Me Tactics" I recall by rote, my "posts to hold onto in rough seas". They are individual to me, but might be useful to you - to get you started.

Crisis / Emergency SAVE ME, tactics:
  • " Manage my Day and Don' Mess Up
  • " I do not have permission to hurt myself
  • " I am suppose to take my emergency med, before doing anything stupid
  • " Dear God, I know you put me here and here I must stay
  • " I do too have a right to be on this planet (correcting automatic thought - I am unacceptable and it is all my fault. I don't belong on the planet - sequence is present somehow, usually) I am acceptable, no matter what
  • " I don't like this feeling, but I know it will pass
  • " Go read worthlessness rebuttal that hangs on my wall - out loud if necessary
  • " Go read hopelessness rebuttal that hangs on my wall - out loud if necessary
  • " I do not want to die in the house and leave a bad forever memory for my husband in his own home
  • " I do not want my husband to have to identify my dead body at the morgue
  • " Dead is end of game. Is end of game - no do-overs - Is this what I really want? No, it isn't. No matter how bad I feel.
  • " What is the real problem? Solve the real problem. Just because there is no solution, only means you haven't thought of one yet.
  • " Driving long distances and renting a room puts me back in control
  • " Tell my husband. He will help me.
  • " Connect to external world by talking to it, if necessary
  • " Procrastinate. Okay, you can kill yourself, but you must wait until tomorrow
  • " The real Linda does not want to miss a minute of time with her husband
  • " Check your thoughts, if they say you want to kill yourself, your mind is not working. You can not think your way out of this. It's like trying to walk on a broken leg. Can't be done.
  • " Shut down thinking - catatonic or Freecell and audio book has worked
  • " There is an optimist inside me that truly believes tomorrow will be different
  • " There is a problem with time to kill - my issue is impulsive, I don't want it to take time.
  • " There is a problem with "how sick is my solution going to make me, before I die" - I hate being nauseous.
  • " There is a problem, with my self preservation instinct, wanting to seek help after I've screwed up - remember this … This really means everything

    • Recommended Reading - Must Reads For Bipolar's and Their Families

    Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Bipolar Disorder, Second Edition
    Absolutely the best description of Bipolar Disorder I have read anywhere. An excellent read for giving your mind a chance to over come mood.

    The Bipolar Workbook: Tools for Controlling Your Mood Swings
    By the same author as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. This is the CBT workbook I have needed from the beginning. Truly non-pharmaceutical Mind over Mood stuff - that works.

    An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
    An easy, quick read that both the person with Bipolar will recognize themself in, and their loved ones will recognize what Bipolar Disorder is. Kay Jamison both has Bipolar Disorder, and is a Psychiatrist. If you read no other book - read this one.

    Wellness Recovery Action Plan
    Wellness Recovery Action Plan WRAP - the most self empowering recovery method I have run across anywhere.

    My name is Linda. I welcome your feedback.
    However, please be gentle and speak softly.
    Ordinary real life rocks my mood, and I really don't need Internet email, to set off a mood episode in motion - you know what I mean?
    I look forward to hearing from you, and if I can be of help in any way, I sure will try.

    Disclaimer

    The intention of this site is to provide understanding, information, and commentary. The diagnosis and treatment of Bipolar Disorder requires trained medical professionals. The author of this site is NOT a trained medical professional and cannot give professional advice, diagnose, prescribe, or in any way treat Bipolar Disorder. The information here should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical/psychiatric disorder. If you feel you are ill or know someone who may be, seek medical attention as soon as possible.

    © Copyright 2003 Linda Fisher™

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