Safety Plan / Emergency plan - Have one!
If Linda wants to kill herself, her mind is not working. Bipolar kills people. It kills people by means of suicide. To prevent this from occurring, one must have a Safety Plan, and one must have a Emergency Plan. Both of these plans are individual to the person with Bipolar. All circumstances (live alone, live with supportive significant other), all manifestations of Bipolar (Bipolar 1, Bipolar 2, with or without psychotics features, prone to mixed or rapid cycling), all individual responses to meds --- are different, and unique to the person. Thus all Safety Plans and Emergency Plans may be different also. I have a Bipolar 1 with psychotic features. I am prone to mixed, and I rapid cycle. These are my plans that work for me: Often times when my mind is not working well, I will refuse my Emergency Plan. I needed an alternative plan. Under no circumstances would I do harm to myself in my own home. This is because I will not leave a forever bad memory for my husband, in his own home. Thus, without my car keys, I can not go far, and actually have chosen not to take off on foot. Giving up my car keys works for me. It re focuses my mind on doing things for myself, to feel better. I alone am responsible for my Safety Plan. My husband and I tried it the other way, where my husband would support me by taking away my car keys. But this resulted in too much stress on our relationship. My husband was so worried once, he walked in his sleep, moving the hidden car keys to a different spot. It took us a week, and turning the house inside out, to find them again. Therefore, these days, my safety is my sole responsibility. This is what I do with my car keys, when I need to give them up:
My Emergency Plan:On Suicide: I have seriously attempted suicide 3 times. I am high risk to eventually die by my own hand. Suicidality comes in 2 flavors: 1) the planners 2) impulse. I am a planner, who then acts on impulse. The last of three tries happened in no more then 10 minutes (got my lethal drugs, got in my car, parked the car where there was a low chance of discovery, swallowed the pills, and 1.5 cigarettes later - I was passed out). For me to be safe, I have to protect myself from impulse. Basically this means putting as many real and artificial barriers in my way, to keep the deed from actually happening. It is not safe to have the means to kill yourself, in the house. I know this feels, to a Bipolar, as if they have some sort of control in their life, and while this might work, the notion has a fatal flaw, and that fatal flaw is impulse. Bipolar, as a mental disorder, loosens impulse control. A person in an active bipolar episode may not be capable of controlling impulse. As I have tried to kill myself 3 times now, I have only gotten better at it. On my third and most recent try, my small town's rumor regarding me was "found near dead on BLM public land". The doctors were asking for my living will. I was in a coma for 2.5 days. Unfortunately, this plan is simple, painless and quick, a perfect combination. So how do I prevent myself from doing this again, but with double the lethal drug? I won't reveal what I did. This is good practice. Too much of suicide is monkey see, monkey do. I will say that I can acquire the lethal drug in double the dose, at any emergency room anywhere, so in no more time, then required to process through some ER. This is highly dangerous, and I know that. As it is impossible to use a real barrier to acquiring this drug, I have set up an artificial barrier. "I must drive to the big city, which is 250 miles and 2 snowy mountain passes away, and then I can acquire the drug." This is the best that I can think of. I think one of 2 things will happen with this plan. Either driving the 250 miles will put me firmly back in control of my mind, or I will be too sick, to make the drive. This is the best plan that I know of, currently.
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Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Bipolar Disorder, Second Edition
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The Bipolar Workbook: Tools for Controlling Your Mood Swings
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An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
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Wellness Recovery Action Plan
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My name is Linda. I welcome your feedback.
However, please be gentle and speak softly.
Ordinary real life rocks my mood, and I really
don't need Internet email, to set off a mood episode in motion - you know what I mean?
I look forward to hearing from you, and if I can be of help in any way, I sure will try.
Disclaimer
The intention of this site is to provide understanding, information, and commentary. The diagnosis and treatment of Bipolar Disorder requires trained medical professionals. The author of this site is NOT a trained medical professional and cannot give professional advice, diagnose, prescribe, or in any way treat Bipolar Disorder. The information here should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical/psychiatric disorder. If you feel you are ill or know someone who may be, seek medical attention as soon as possible.
© Copyright 2003 Linda Fisher™
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