Bipolar Essays - How Do You Explain Consciousness?
I do have a university degree in science, but I have never taken a course in physics (my science education was in environmental science - now 30 years out of date). However, my father was a physicist, and I spent many years working in and amongst physicists. What seems to be happening in these psychotic states I find myself in, I start babbling physics - with enough smattering of the unreal to confuse those, that are believing my rendition of physics, to be real and true. (like spy planes and laser beams are pretty obviously unreal, while my physics sounds pretty believable) My psyche doc says I am trying to explain my state of mind in terms of any reality - I may be able to relate my brain functioning too. "laser beams interrupting the oscillating frequencies of my thought" - translation: I can't think at all. "Thought is not energy, thought is energy flowing (neurons firing, neurotransmitters in synapses, neural pathways) thought is a circuit - thus, quantum mechanics doesn't apply" - translation: This is utterly believable, however there is at least one physicist out there that disagrees with me ("The physicist Roger Penrose, in his book Shadows of the Mind, argued for a quantum mind approach, suggesting that non-local quantum mechanical effects within sub-neural structures give rise to conscious states.") While in the grips of these laser beam realities, I had someone suggest to me that they agreed, quantum mechanics does not apply, but maybe chaos theory does? I had to look up chaos theory - and oh wow, it's just the thing. This was best explained to me by "The Butterfly Effect is a phrase that encapsulates the more technical notion of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory. The idea is that small variations in the initial conditions of a dynamical system produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system." If I consider consciousness to be a dynamic system, as surely it must be (life events, build and alter the "who am I?") then surely it is the small variations in initial conditions, that produce (or fail to produce) mood swings (either extreme, or within un quantified bounds). Did that first love relationship go well, or not so well - and the answer has far reaching effects over time. Then I discovered rogue waves. Based on linear wave theory, ships are built to withstand heavy seas. But mariners have known for centuries there are rogue waves. Waves whose amplitude may be 4 times the amplitude of the prevailing seas. This was confirmed by science in 1995 when one such wave crashed into an oil platform in the North Sea. "According to some research, it is completely feasible to have a freak wave occur by natural, nonlinear processes from a random background of smaller waves. In such a case, it is hypothesized, an unusual, unstable wave type may form which 'sucks' energy from other waves, growing to a near-vertical monster itself, before becoming too unstable and collapsing shortly after. Oh my! Is this what is happening in my brain waves? (alpha, beta, delta, etc) It appears to me that something called celluar "action potential" is what is driving my brain waves. What they say about action potential is "Within any one excitable cell, consecutive action potentials typically are indistinguishable. Also between different cells the amplitudes of the voltage swings tend to be roughly the same. But the speed and simplicity of action potentials vary significantly between cells, in particular between different cell types." Well according to that, no - rogue waves are not happening in my brain. The wave amplitude is roughly the same (just as it is in linear wave theory). But what if they are as wrong about this action potential, as they were about the amplitude of heavy seas? They certainly could be wrong. I can name half a dozen scientific facts that over the course of my 30 years of growing older are no longer fact (just like rogue ocean waves transforming themselves from myth to scientific fact in 1995). Well, goodness - even if I assume they are wrong about this action potential amplitude - what the heck does that mean? From the perspective of a person who experiences bipolar episodes - I can easily intuit where butterfly wings flapping and rogue waves are rocking my moods. But again - so what? What does this mean? What is consciousness? "Consciousness is a quality of the mind generally regarded to comprise qualities such as subjectivity, self-awareness, and the ability to perceive the relationship between oneself and one's environment. In common parlance, consciousness denotes being awake and responsive to one's environment; this contrasts with being asleep or being in a coma. Consciousness is notoriously difficult to define or locate. Many cultures and religious traditions place the seat of consciousness in a soul separate from the body. Conversely, many scientists and philosophers consider consciousness to be intimately linked to the neural functioning of the brain. In general, two main types of consciousness have been defined: Normal consciousness and unconsciousness (sleeping or in a coma). Nonconsciousness exists when neither of these types are present (before birth and after death). No one knows whether there is a consciousness after death (or before birth for that matter), and scientifically, consciousness before birth and after death is known only as nonconsciousness, or the absence of consciousness. However, there is no definitive boundary between different levels of consciousness, so sometimes the state of consciousness is difficult to define." I must fall into the camp that defines consciousness to be intimately linked to the neural functioning of the brain. I do not believe in free will. One bad bout of PMS, and I no longer believed in free will. How to you explain consciousness? Now if that is not confusing enough all by itself - get this "There is a neural link between the left and right hemispheres of the brain, known as the corpus callosum. This link is sometimes surgically severed to control severe seizures in epilepsy patients. Tests of these patients have shown that after the link is completely severed, each hemisphere possesses its own sense of self and each has a separate awareness from the other. It is as if two separate minds now share the same skull, but both still represent themselves as a single "I" to the outside world." Is there a soul? What is this thing we call the "spark of life?" The world is a strange and mysterious place --- Linda
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Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Bipolar Disorder, Second Edition
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The Bipolar Workbook: Tools for Controlling Your Mood Swings
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An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
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Wellness Recovery Action Plan
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My name is Linda. I welcome your feedback.
However, please be gentle and speak softly.
Ordinary real life rocks my mood, and I really
don't need Internet email, to set off a mood episode in motion - you know what I mean?
I look forward to hearing from you, and if I can be of help in any way, I sure will try.
Disclaimer
The intention of this site is to provide understanding, information, and commentary. The diagnosis and treatment of Bipolar Disorder requires trained medical professionals. The author of this site is NOT a trained medical professional and cannot give professional advice, diagnose, prescribe, or in any way treat Bipolar Disorder. The information here should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical/psychiatric disorder. If you feel you are ill or know someone who may be, seek medical attention as soon as possible.
© Copyright 2003 Linda Fisher™
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