Bipolar Breakout Mood Episode 2005
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This is a breakout mood episode of mine from Mar/Apr 2005. I no longer take Lithium, as Lithium left me with no life, but the life of the walking dead. I pay the price for this quality of life, in a more volitile extreme Bipolar. I wouldn't have been able to make a go of it (off Lithium) without the all the coping skills I learned the 27 months I was on Lithium, so I am thankful to Lithium for this learning experience. Even with a more extreme volitile Bipolar, I still think it is worth it. I have a life once again. I had no life on Lithium. Mood statistics On Lithium (354 days), and Off Lithium (394 days) (vintage mid 2005) This episode did result in a near deadly suicide attempt April 28th. Psychosis was blamed. They just were never ever able to get control of the psychosis, though 2 diffferent med trials were tried. More then anything, I am delighted I survived Bipolar. It hasn't killed me yet. Another year has gone by. It is now mid 2006. My Bipolar has been treated with dual anti psychotics Geodon and Seroquel. After my suicide attempt last year, the goal of treatment was to keep me from getting psychotic. A wee bit of Lithium was added in fall 2005 to act as a break for suicidal moods. Apparently this wee bit of Lithium (300mgs) also helps keep me out of mixed states. My diagnosis is Bipolar I Mixed with Psychosis, so my chart will look different then yours. This chart is way more detailed then my earlier charting. I am charting migraine headaches right alongside the Bipolar, and I am keeping detailed track of what and how much "as needed" meds I am taking. I think all this detail helps tell me what is working, and what is not working.
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 The OD in the "stress" row, was the near deadly suicide attempt. It is semi interesting to note that I called my mood level the 6 days prior to my suicide attempt. The tale instead is told in the high agitation / anxiety levels. I recall, I was very angry.
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The significant differences between on Lithium and off Lithium are primarily in percentage of time spent in sub-clinical low - 23% on Lithium (Lithiums mood flattening effect) and 14.3% off Lithium (which more closely balances with hypo maina, then my time spent on Lithium did). It is interesting to note that the percentage of isolated days I spent in suicidal ideation is identical (8%) both on and off Lithium, but I did not attempt while on Lithium - while I did attempt, when off Lithium. The extremeness volitility of Bipolar off Lithium (for me, as it is always a for me thing - our reactions to the meds are intensely personal) shows up in the percentage of time I spend in mixed states and/or psychotic ... and those differences are significant.
On Lithium Mixed 3.6% --- Off Lithium Mixed 13% Mixed / Psychotic states are much harder to manage. (this is an understatement) And not to be forgotten or left out, but living off Lithium costs me significantly more in cost of meds, hospitalizations, and even entertainment money (no life costs very little in entertainment, while having a life and I spend money on entertainment) "They" can not fix my Bipolar. I believe I have a higher quality of life Off Lithium, and I am willing and able to pay for it (both in the trenches and in monetary terms).
View Geodon / Seroquel / with a wee bit Lithium (vintage mid 2006) Statistics
The glaring stare you in the eye - difference, between being treated with the dual anti psychotics Geodon and
Seroquel and either on Lithium or off --- is a nearly 10% gain in the time I spend in normal mood. Hurray!
This gain appears to have come right out of the reduction of time I spend in any kind of low mood. Another hurray!
It is interesting to note that the percentage of isolated days I spent in suicidal ideation is
identical (8%) both on and off Lithium, and as well with this dual anti psychotic combo
Geodon / Seroquel / wee bit of Lithium (8%).
One curious number is the percentage of days where I am psychotic with no mood issue at all is double on the
dual anti psychotic combo Geodon / Seroquel / wee bit of Lithium. The question arises: Is it the medication doing this to me?
And not to be forgotten or left out, the dollar amount I spent on entertainment on this
dual anti psychotic combo Geodon / Seroquel / wee bit of Lithium combo in nearly a 60% jump from no Lithium.
Is this because I am well more often, or am I well more often because I'm activly engaged in living?
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Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Bipolar Disorder, Second Edition
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The Bipolar Workbook: Tools for Controlling Your Mood Swings
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An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
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Wellness Recovery Action Plan
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My name is Linda. I welcome your feedback.
However, please be gentle and speak softly.
Ordinary real life rocks my mood, and I really
don't need Internet email, to set off a mood episode in motion - you know what I mean?
I look forward to hearing from you, and if I can be of help in any way, I sure will try.
Disclaimer
The intention of this site is to provide understanding, information, and commentary. The diagnosis and treatment of Bipolar Disorder requires trained medical professionals. The author of this site is NOT a trained medical professional and cannot give professional advice, diagnose, prescribe, or in any way treat Bipolar Disorder. The information here should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care for the diagnosis and treatment of any medical/psychiatric disorder. If you feel you are ill or know someone who may be, seek medical attention as soon as possible.
© Copyright 2003 Linda Fisher™
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